REACH INTO THE MUD

Where does one so go in depth of heart, depth of spirit a true spirit?
Into the mud, for a cardinal rule of life is one must begin with less to achieve more… to reach for that everlasting, that which neither corrupts nor corrodes.
To hold a loftier goal than the mere subjugated morass one may be peopled with, idealistic? Yes in all but the fewest forms and manifestations, yes this stooping for yet more is idealistic.
But I am yet an idealist; alas for want of ideals passionate existence becomes subservient to a daily existence of mere survival. It ought not to be!
The mere prospect of decades of monotony so frightens me, that my heart, my soul is filled with pallor at the prospect.
Yet I thank Him (God) that it has not to be! That the soul of man may chart a new path, perhaps a contradictory path if he so wills.
I intend and resolutely resolve to chart one of a passion filled meaningful existence, even while yet residing between the two worlds neither dead but yet not truly born.
For existence is more than an insult, I believe it is an investment we have made from a view based on superior intellect. I do believe it is a conscious choice we so choose, though my life has strayed from that illuded to perfect I believe it has dictated much to my benefit as of now and beyond.
Yet what so defines idealism? Why is it so frowned upon by those acclaimed reasonable, those logical? I have found that which explains it as; “of high moral or intellectual value; elevated in nature or style; an exalted ideal; argue in terms of high-flown ideas; a noble and lofty concept; a grand purpose…
I believe idealism and therefore idealists are feared largely due to the ripples that they spread ever outwards in the calm waters of thought that have lain placid with some for perhaps too long.
The indoctrination of our age that gives continual rebirth to that said normal, the near endless recurrence of human self absorption and temporary satisfaction.
That of the said moment a mere fleeting moment used oft subconsciously as the measurement of a near endless time. Where time is lost to the moment, and reason and depth to momentary pleasures, in this state much of humanity lies. And in this state I have recently found MYSELF!
I admit I have candidly yielded ideals and values for momentary sanctuary, rest from the respite… selfish pleasures.
I have knowingly traded value and reason for comfort and leisure, this I despise in myself I abhor.
Yes I have concluded that my life has fallen into that which I passionately hate, that I despise beyond all measure. I am repulsed at the state of my mental facilities, which would facilitate such a state of self-indulgence and self pleasure.
Leaving my chosen destiny to second place, ignoring the sole reason of existence!
That of assisting those so addled as I once was, without hope! Hope must thrive in the corners of every heart least darkness overtaketh the peace so remaining.
Yet I will again rise and resolve to instill in those I find the hope gained from Him, a hope everlasting, undying. This is the sole purpose of my existence, the love for my God and the love for my friends, family, and those so stuck beneath the mud of society’s entrapments.
The despicable quagmire, visible only as a enticingly calm body of water, yet beneath countless generations have exsanguinated and doth continue to do so.
For geniuses are employed in every circle to keep the masses so bound, too oft unknowingly bound. For one born in bondage knows not freedom, knows not life! But light will always piece the dark; love will always dispel doubt and senseless hatred.
Yes I will jump into the pool of stagnant thought, driving waves not mere ripples to those ashore. Disturbing their placid calm, and far worse yet upon so doing I shall reach into the mud.